I know what you’re thinking:
Grl, why you add alcohol to…everything?
I hear you. And while I appear to be a functioning alcoholic that has an addiction to food, I add it merely because I’m actually a mad scientist at heart that likes mixing shit together to see if we’re all gonna blow up or something weird.
Not really. I just like booze.
Growing up, Easter was my number one holiday. My friend’s mom, who I’ve known now for 20 gaht damn years, would hook me up with diabetes-sized Easter egg baskets annually. Because I’m half Jew, whatever that means, Easter doesn’t always come. That said, Mother Teresa (srsly her name is Teresa) would make it happen for me. Sup, mami?
In retrospect, I’m pretty sure I chose to be Catholic during April strictly for the Reese’s Peanut Butter eggs. Never for Peeps, though. Gross.
Naturally, as a kid, you never think to yourself, “This Cadbury Egg would be SO bomb if it had a stout creme in it.” or, “I wish these pastel-colored M&M’s were laced with hash oil.”
But guess what? It’s 20 fuggin’ 16. If some jerk face can stroll through the streets staring at his phone while riding a hover board, I can make religious holiday treats with booze in them.
BAD BUNNY BOURBON BALLS - carrot cake truffles
Makes 12-15 truffles, 30 mins prep
- 1 cup finely grated carrot (about one medium carrot)
- 4-5 large, or 10-12 small Medjool dates, pitted
- 1/4 cup coconut flour
- ½ cup walnuts or pecans, chopped
- 1 tablespoon honey or sweetener of choice
- 1/2 vanilla bean pod (I used a bourbon vanilla bean pod, but don’t stress it)
- 1 teaspoon bourbon (this depends how much alcohol you want to taste. Omit if you're a lil' bitch)
- ⅛ teaspoon cinnamon
- ⅛ teaspoon ground cloves
- ⅛ teaspoon nutmeg
- ⅛ teaspoon salt
- 3.5 oz (100g) dark chocolate, chopped, I use 85%
- 1 tablespoon coconut oil
- Coarse sea salt
- Chopped nuts
- Coconut Flakes
- Remove the pit from your dates and food process them until they create a creamy texture. They may roll up into a ball while being processed.
- Grate your carrots and chop your nuts, add into dates.
- Toss remaining dry ingredients, plus the bourbon and vanilla into the carrot, date, and nut mixture and process until everything is well combined.
- Take a shot of bourbon.
- Roll into balls about the size of two teaspoons worth of dough (about 12-15). Place on parchment paper and freeze while you prepare your chocolate shell.
THE CHOCOLATE SHELL
- Make a double boiler by boiling about 1-2 inches of water and placing a strong enough glass bowl over the pot.
- Add in half of the chocolate and let it melt completely.
- Remove from heat and add in the remaining chocolate and the coconut oil. Gently mix until everything is well-combined.
- Let the chocolate cook for a few minutes, then dip each ball in and place on parchment paper.
- Freeze for at least 20 minutes, heat the chocolate over the boiling water again in the glass bowl and dip in again for a second thicker shell.
- Optionally, sprinkle salt on top of the truffles while they’re still warm, roll them in finely chopped nuts, or in unsweetened coconut flakes.
- Place on parchment paper.
- Freeze for at least another 30 minutes before serving.
So how’d they turn out? Did you eat too many and end up doing the bunny hop at your family’s Easter gathering?
Lemme know in comments below!